Author Archives: Carrie Labiak

Im not a slut,Im not easy,My past,Drove me into chaos. EverytimeI got drunk,I prayed I wouldnt wake up. Drinking,Sex with strangers,No loveFor myself. My adolescence,Was stolen.And replaced withActions that i thoughtMen wanted. So when I sayMy past was complicated.It was complex,To say the least. ~Carrie Labiak ~

I heard your voice today,Echoing of the leavesAs the wind carried The sound away. I felt Your touch,A small strokeOn my arm,From the windThat called your voice. I saw you,In the reflectionOf a slow flowing river.Then, it disappearedFrom the ripple in water. You disappeared, But you’re not gone.You’re all around us,Whispering, Touching, Looking. Where willContinue reading “April 2, 1939”

I walked in,To the front desk,I was 16.Sweating. My heart Pounding,I was ashamed.The Officer looked at me.I said,”I need to file a complaint.” I said it,And it’s happening.Maybe,It’ll stop. 1987?They took me back,Sat me down.I started talking, unloading. I just wanted Justice,Help,Someone to listen.Someone to believe me. They listened,Started a plan.I had to get myContinue reading “COURAGE”

Sun rays,Gleaming down,Feeding,All the living things,God has created. Formed from seeds,Planted in the bedOf earth.Rain, sun,Rain, sun. Growth appears,Green leaves,Stem,Then the budOf flower. It’s in full blossom,Petals spread outStretching.The colors,The shade The most brilliant yellow. A field of yellow,An occasional blue,Maybe a violet.Sculpted,By the sculptor,All in his glory. Beautiful flowers,Bloomed,On God’s canvas. ~Carrie Labiak ~

I lost my mother last week. Now I dream every night about her. I see her more now than when she was alive. She’s always younger in my dreams, full of life, no gasping for air.. I think it’s hitting me that she’s gone.. mom’s gone.

An on going battle,Pleading with youTo just breatheAnother day. Fighting to show youThe good in life,The reasonsTo see another sunset. Guiding youIn the directionOf self worth,Self love. It’s ok,To feelImportant enoughTo want to be alive. You feelUndeserving,Unworthy,Unloved. We tell youWe love you,We try and help you,I love you. I don’t thinkIt’s us,It’s the process,The workContinue reading “Desperation”

Yet again,Night after night.You haunt my dreamsWith just your appearance. Again,You creep in my bed,Take What is not yours. Take,What I will neverGet back.Killed my Innocence. Shattered my spirit,Suffocating my Dreams,Silencing myCries. You used Your dominance,To gain my submission.I cowered at your feet. I hated you,With every Breath I took,I longed for your death. ~CarrieContinue reading “Nightmares”

I’m 12,Tommy kept me homeFrom school.Mom’s at work. There’s a familiarType of tensionIn the air,Thick. Stale cigarettes,The stenchOf his breath.Fear. I’m a coward,I dont even fightAnymore.Does that meanI asked for it? I’m looking at my bodyFrom above my bed.I’m looking at myself,Disgusted. Fight Dammit!!Scream!!Whats the point,No one cares. Maybe I lostConsciousness,I dont rememberWhat happenedAt theContinue reading “Deserving”

Lungs,Filled withDoubt.Filling,Every organTill I can’t move. Immobilized,Trapped,In this spot.Fear,Drapes my skin. Paralyzed,From Self sabotage.These voices,Making me Rooted to this spot. Feet,Weighted.Body,Empty of emotion.Just existingIn a cold world. Heart,Beating fast,Breathing,Shallow.I lay in Fetal position; Too numb To live. ~Carrie Labiak ~

The safest,Deepest eyes.Brown,Color of calm. Hands,Soft to theTouch.Heart,So inviting. Your scent,Hypnotic.Embrace,Harmless. Undeniable,The amount ofLove,That flows throughMy veins. What can I doTo show my love For you?How can I Make your heart melt,Like you do mine? How do I soothe,My hunger,For your touch? Don’t you see?I love you, Indefinitely. ~Carrie Labiak ~