Having a hard day today. Our place of business is closing, I haven’t found a job, I’m very insecure about everything. I’m feeling like a failure. A fat failure. My books aren’t selling, Pampered Chef has come to a halt. Everybody would be better off without me..

Woman to woman,
Blood to blood.
A teacher
By my side.

Guardian Angel’s,
Whispering,
The purest
Words of wisdom.

I hear you,
I feel,
Your protection,
I see your vision.

My muse,
Guiding me
To positivity,
Showing me the light.

Distance,
Between us.
Roads, lakes, rivers.
Heart strings attached.

Little blessings
Throughout the day.
Lessons
Being taught.

Thank you my sisters,
For guiding
And showing
Me the right way.

~Carrie Labiak ~

In a room
Full of family,
But I’m not
Visible,
I’m transparent.

Muffled voices,
Loud chatter,
Not a word
To understand.

Here to show
Sympathy,
Sorrow.
Only feeling
Despair
Emptiness.

You wander off
Talking,
Reminiscing,
Speaking of a time
Before me.

I sit,
I wait,
Wondering what
I mean to you.

Anything?
Love?
What does it matter?
We all die in the end.

~Carrie Labiak ~

Draped
In layers of
Cloth.

Head
Lowered
As not to be seen.

Nothing
Is what
Im worth.

I dont
Like myself,
Even just a little.

I just
Exist
To die alone.

~Carrie Labiak ~

The amount of blame,
The accusations,
Your fingers,
Pointed at me.

Not one sorry
From you.
Your views,
Your take on
How women should act.

I’m not
Understanding you,
I’m not grasping,
How you see
Your behavior.

The fact that,
You basically said,
That I deserved it.
But I had it rough.

Now that I know,
Where I stand,
And you stand;
Opposite,
Divided.

I’m ok,
I’m good where I am.

~Carrie Labiak ~

Not a poem

Who am I trying to kid. No one is going to buy my books, I’m not going to make it as a Pampered Chef seller, I’m not good at my job. What am I doing? Wasting space.

I died,
Crushed from the inside.
My heart,
Cold, blackened.

Emotionless,
Empty, a mere mass.
Lost,
With no where to go.

My heart was torn apart,
Ripped from my life,
My existence,
Gone.

Being told I was nothing
For so long,
I believed it,
I knew I wouldn’t amount to anything.

Dumb,
Stupid,
Worthless,
A coward.

I didnt know how to fight.
I just knew anger,
Hate,
Bitterness.

I screamed in silence
For so long,
Until I was heard,
Comforted.

Until I was loved,
And showed how to love.
Enchanted by his beauty,
By his loving embrace.

It wasn’t overnight,
It was years.
Years,
Of him listening.

Years of him loving me.
I’m reborn,
With self love,
With love for others.

Reborn,
To be happy,
To be with him.

~Carrie Labiak ~

Just coins to you,
Another day
Another month
Sober.
It’s just a coin.

What ever the color,
The day,
It’s your
Sobriety.
Your fight.

That coin
Represents
Every second,
Minute
Of fight.

The fight
To get high,
To end it all,
The fight
For your
freedom.

One more day
Of your precious
Life,
A breath of air
In your lungs,
A sacred beat
Of your tired heart.

Your symbol,
To keep going,
With just a coin.

~Carrie Labiak ~

I started this page in hopes to get more poetry done. I just keep forgetting to post here!! So I’m going to dump a few today and tomorrow 🙃!!

Out of place,
Contagious,
Dirty,
Unwanted.

Places I’d go,
Not a word
To me,
Ignored.

Go to school,
Get laughed at,
Picked on,
Bullied.

What was said,
Behind
Closed doors,
When I wasn’t around.

I played tough,
I was pittied,
A nuisance,
A problem.

I spit vulgar,
Hate,
Say things
You want to hear.

Just for you
To like me,
I was so
Envious,
Jealous,
Drawn to your normal.

I would have done
Anything,
To be like you.
The talent,
Beauty,
Knowledge.

I just wanted
To be accepted,
Loved,
Maybe even liked.

Just not me.

~Carrie Labiak ~